My Short Story: "Damien's Story"

Disclaimer: The preceding story, including characters and situations, were completely fictional. Resemblance to any persons, dead or living, is purely coincidental.

Damien Fernandez could still remember that fateful Sunday afternoon 10 years ago on his eighteenth birthday. It was a simple yet fulfilling celebration. He had a scrumptious lunch with his family (his dad and mum; Mr. & Mrs. Fernandez and his sister; Danielle) and a chocolate fudge cake for dessert. After which his parents presented him a brand new red convertible as his birthday gift. Damien’s present was a Fiat Spider, a small but seductive car with curves sculpted at just the right places. He was elated and he beamed with excitement and joy. His sister however was not as enthusiastic as he was.

“Mama, it is unfair Damien gets a car but you refuse to allow me to use make-up and have my ears pierced!”

“Well Danielle you are only ten. I promise you will have all that once you are old enough.”

As usual Danielle does what she always does when she do not get what she wants. She sulks. Her brother on the other hand was grinning from ear to ear. Damien did not hesitate to take the car out for a spin around his residential area. Little did he know this would be his last time driving.

Damien relished every moment driving his new Fiat. Every turning was smooth even when he does corners. The engine was virtually silent and it was just him and the car. He felt liberated, he felt free – like a bird flying through the clouds. The caress of the wind on his face and on his hair felt like the soft touch of a hand. And the wind tickled his ears. Oh yes, Damien Fernandez was immersed in delectation.

Until… his cell phone rang.

Click!

“Hello, this is Damien speaking.”

“Hey Damien, this is Angela. Are you busy?”

Angela Wong. Damien knew her since high school and they have been going out for about 2 years now. A couple of days ago Angela had a disagreement with Damien when she mentioned she was considering to study abroad. Since then they have not spoken to each other.

“Oh baby it’s you. I am glad you called. Baby I am sorry for that silly argument we had. By the way, you sounded a little under the weather. Is everything alright?”

“Not really. I have something urgent to tell you.”

Damien grinned; he thought that this was one of Angela’s dramatic attempts to wish him ‘Happy Birthday’.

“What is it baby?”

“I don’t think we should be together anymore… But I hope we could still remain as good friends.”

“…”

“Hello. Damien…? You there? Hello?”

Click!

Damien fell silent, stopped his car to the roadside, put on his brake and ended the conversation with a simple push of a button. He was in tears but had no signs of visible emotion and his eyes were set upon this huge shady tree in the middle of the playground.

Damien locked his foot on the accelerator and the car gave a loud restrained roar, as if a lion in a cage. What happened next was unthinkable. He released the brake and the car charged forward towards the huge tree.

Just before the car hit the tree, there was an abrupt ear-piercing scream ensued by a deafening silence.

Damien’s world came to a crashing halt – literally. The scream did not belong to him. However it belonged to Danielle who at that time was resting under the tree after that scrumptious lunch. Danielle died on the spot. Her skull was crushed and her blood dyed her favourite emerald green dress crimson. As for Damien, he was much fortunate (or unfortunate, depends on how you look at it) and did not die as he planned to.

Although the death of his sister was purely an accident, Damien was convicted of reckless driving and sentenced to 10 years in prison. Needless to say Damien was suspended from driving for life. Ridden with guilt and shame, Damien refused to see any of his family or friends during visiting hours. Years passed and soon none of his family or friends came to visit him but they did send him letters which he never replied.

It has been 10 years since the accident and until now Damien could not forgive himself for that moment of rage. In spite of everything life has to go on and today Damien is on his way – home. But there is this restlessness stirring in him because he is unsure whether he would still be welcomed back home. So a week before his release he wrote a letter addressed to both of his parents:

Dear Papa and Mama,

I know it has been almost 10 years since you have heard from me but I would like you to know that I will be released in a week’s time. Papa, Mama I miss you both so much but I don’t know whether you would feel the same way. As a son I have not been filial and have never done my duties and I begged that you allow me to make it up to you in whatever way I can.

My heart is full of guilt, although it has been many years since Danielle’s death. Papa, Mama, please know that I am really sorry. I really am. I understand it’s hard for you to accept me, an ex-convict under your roof. So I ask that you give me a sign.

I will be taking the night bus home and it will pass by the house on the way to the station. If I remembered correctly, we used to have two lamps fixed on top of the pillars of our gate. Papa, Mama if you do not mind acknowledging me as your son please turn both of the lamps on and I will be at the gate to meet you. But if you do not want me as your son any longer then please do not bother to switch on either lamp. Don’t worry, I will find myself a decent job and a place to stay.

Love you always,

Damien.

As Damien recalled what he had wrote; streaks of tears flowed down his cheeks as he looked out of the bus window. It has been an hour since the bus begun its journey and Damien knew that in half an hour he will be either meeting his parents or go on his separate way.

The air-conditioning was working a little too well and it was nearly freezing, which was of no help to the already nervous Damien. All twenty two passengers were wrapped up in their sweaters, some resting their eyes, others SMS-ing while some read books. Damien was wearing his thick cotton sweater, a gift from his mother ten Christmases before. He got up looking a little shaky like a puppy left out in the cold and made his way to the front of the bus. He turned to face the rest of the passengers and cleared his throat for attention.

“Dear friends my name is Damien Fernandez and I am an ex-convict.”

At once all eyes and ears were on him. They were looking and listening attentively, as if this was a stick-up.

“I was sentence to 10 years in prison and now I am released to the society for good. I know that we do not know each other even remotely well but I would like to ask for a favour. ”

Still there was silence; the only sound one could hear apart from Damien’s shaky voice was the bus’ engine.

“Don’t worry, I promise it won’t cost you a thing. You see, I am on my way home but I am not sure whether my parents would still accept me. So I asked them for a sign which was to light up both lamps of the gate if they would like to welcome me. If not they could keep the lamps off to signal they would rather be without me.

I seek your help because I am afraid of the possibility that they might reject me. So please look out for my house, it’s the corner lot on your right along Jalan Riong and 57 is the house number. In about 10 minute’s time, you should be able to see it.

I will be at my seat covering my face with my two hands. Only if you see the lamps on, you are to come over to my seat and give me a tap on my shoulder. Otherwise, please leave me on my own to figure out how to deal with rejection. That’s all.

…Thank you.”

As he returned to his seat, they turned toward him, gave him a forced but genuine smile and a knowing look. Damien began to cover his face with both of his hands and laid his trust on his newly met acquaintances. All eyes (except Damien’s of course) were looking out the bus window in anticipation to catch the first glimpse of the house along the now (in)famous Jalan Riong. Damien knew it was anytime now and this will either make or break him.

The passengers gasped.

Upon hearing that, Damien’s heart sunk. His closed eyes started to tear like leaking faucets. But next he heard loud cheers composed of twenty three various voices (including the bus driver’s). The bus stopped moving. Damien was confused at this answer provided by his acquaintances. He just could not hide his curiosity any longer. He lifted his head and peered out the window.

He too gasped.

If he did not know better that it was still the month of January, Damien might have thought it was Christmas. No not that there was anything that resembled snow. Rather there were strings of multi-colored lights strung on power lines leading to the house of 57, Jalan Riong. As Damien’s eyes traced the path of the power lines, he saw not just two bright and glowing lamps atop gate pillars but a house which was lighted from top to bottom! Strings of Christmas-lights adorned the house from the rooftop to the pillars, even the windows and doors! It was a sight to behold!

But where are his parents? Damien got out of the bus and walked towards the open gate into the dimly lit garden. He stopped to his tracks. His mum and dad were standing at a distance smiling and waving bright orange glow sticks. In the midst of darkness, Damien saw more glow sticks warming up to a full glow. First it was 5. Then he saw 20. The numbers increased until all was illuminated.

There stood his mum and dad, aunts and uncles, cousins, best friends and school mates! Each and every one of them was smiling as they held on to their bright orange glow sticks.

Damien’s eyes welled up with tears and he broke down crying like a child who was lost and now found. He sat down on the moist carpet grass with his legs curled; he folded his hands and placed them on his knees in place of a shoulder to cry on. He wept.

A little while later, he sensed a shadow hovering above him and shortly after he felt an embrace, and immediately he recognized that familiar scent.

“Hush son. Papa is here. Don’t worry everything will be alright. I just want you to know that neither Mama nor I ever held a grudge against you. And I want you to remember this: that no matter what, you –

Damien Augustine Fernandez will always, always be my son.”

Corpus Christi Homily

by Father Simon Yong, SJ

Many people find the Eucharist boring; some find it meaningless. Music is not good. Sermon is terribly long and not appropriate. It’s too hot here and it’s cooler in CKK. People in SFX action and not friendly. It’s a short list of reasons why the Eucharist can become a meaningless, boring routine. So, let me tell you a short story of what the Eucharist was for some people. It happened in WWII. We know many Jews died then but what is often not spoken of were the deaths of so many non-Jews, amongst whom were many priests. The Catholic Church was hated by the Nazis because the Church stood up against Nazism. For that many priests had to pay with their lives as they were sent to concentration camps. In the camps the celebration of the Eucharist was banned. Even then some of the priests in a camp conspired to celebrate the Eucharist. They all had to work and so they made sure that the cart they used to carry their goods always break down in front of a bakery. And from there they managed to obtain bread and they smuggled in wine. With that they could celebrate the Eucharist.

The Eucharist meant a lot to them. Why? First, they would be punished with death if caught. Second, they brought so much of themselves into the celebration. Third, the Eucharist was where they encounter Jesus truly present to them in the concrete reality of their lives.

The 3rd reason “Jesus truly present” is why we celebrate the Feast of Corpus Christi. It actually originated from St Thomas Aquinas himself. He lived in the Golden Age of the Mediaeval period: the High Middle Ages. So it’s not a feast that came out of “pure devotional-ism” but came from a period of the Church blessed by such intellectual giants such as St Thomas Aquinas and St Bonaventure . Thus, it is a feast to remind us what the Body and Blood of Christ truly IS to each one of us, in and outside the celebration of the Eucharist and the crux of the teaching of the Feast: God is truly present to us in forms of bread and wine. People may ask why if God exist he doesn’t show himself. The fact is God showed himself 2000 years ago—the chosen people simply rejected him. But Christians who have accepted him believed that when he left, he continues to show himself and be present with us in a very different way. The point is how do we accept his presence to us and with us?

JND Kelly, a Protestant historian in his book Early Christian Doctrines (p440) said that “the Eucharistic teaching, it should be understood at the beginning, was in general unquestioningly realist, i.e., the consecrated bread and wine were taken to be, and were treated and designated as, the Saviour’s body and blood”. Beginning with St Ignatius of Antioch he cites a range of Eastern and Western Fathers who took Jesus quite literally when He said: “This is my Body”.

And you can’t get anymore real than what you heard in the Gospel. The Jews rejected Jesus he said “eat my flesh that you may live”. And to prove it that he wasn’t misunderstood, Jesus did not run after those disciples who left him and said, “No, no, you misunderstood me”. Instead, he turned to the 12 and asked “You, would you go as well”? So, for a long time, all Christians accept that Jesus meant literally that the Bread is him, and it is life. “As I, who am sent by the living Father, myself draw life from the Father, so whoever eats me will draw life from me”.

But, somehow in the 16th century, things changed, the Protestants beginning with Zwingli began to have problems with the reality of Jesus’ presence to us. For most Protestants, the Eucharist is a “bare and naked sign” which we give meaning to by our understanding. It is what we think it to be. But that is not the Church’s constant teaching which is why this answer from a Protestant minister to a Catholic priest can only reinforce what we ourselves know and believe from the times of the Apostles. He said: “If I believed what you Catholics believe about the Eucharist, I wouldn’t simply kneel, I would fall flat on my face”.

Many Catholics have lived—and died or fallen flat on their faces—for this sacred reality: the Presence of Christ in forms of bread and wine. The first two reasons I gave for why the Eucharist meant so much to those concentration camp priests apply still to us. First, many of us will never be asked to lay down our lives to defend the Eucharist. This means that we defend the Eucharist another way: through our reverence. How many people really show reverence for the Eucharist we celebrate? Habitually talking, regularly coming late or leaving before final blessing, eating, drinking or chewing gums during entire mass, SMSing when Eucharist is going on, receiving communion with a palm that has 4-D on it or someone’s telephone number written on it and dressing improperly. Some people will get angry especially about the dressing improperly part and accuse me of being judgemental. Usual storylah: “God will judge the person’s heart and not the outside”. And the same goes to people who react when the announcement like “Communion is reserved for practising Catholics only” and say “how can so judgemental and so unfriendly”. The point is this: our reverence is not a subjective reference to what you are feeling before God. The Malays will say “Perasan”…so self-conceited. You think we’re talking about you? In reality we don’t actually care if a person wants to dress up like a tart or a couple fondles each other BUT just don’t do it HERE because HERE we must contend with an objective reality that has taken place: JESUS, OUR LORD AND GOD IS PRESENT HERE AND NOW. Our reverence therefore is rather an objective reference to the fact that the bread is no longer bread. Yes, it smells like bread, tastes like bread but in reality, in substance it is the Body of Christ our Lord and God. That is the fact which calls for our response. And reverence is the only appropriate response we can give. Reverence is the reason why people adore the body and blood during consecration at Eucharist and also why people pray before the tabernacle outside of Eucharist. Reverence is the reason why people laid down their lives for the Eucharist. St Paul himself teaches reverence because he said that “Whoever, therefore, eats the bread and drinks the cup of Lord in an unworthy manner will be guilty of profaning the body and blood of the Lord”.

Brothers and sisters, the first document of Vatican Council was on liturgy and it says that the Eucharist is the “source and summit of the Christian life,” When respect or reverence for the Eucharist diminishes, the other sacraments also decline. For RCIA, when a catechumen is baptised, he is confirmed and these two sacraments find the fulfilment in the Eucharist. The sacraments of Penance and Anointing of the Sick exist in order to restore a person to the Eucharistic table. Marriage is sign of the wedding banquet of the Lamb. And of course priesthood takes its meaning from the Eucharist. The drop in vocations can be tied directly to a decreased reverence for the Blessed Sacrament.

This is the year of the Eucharist. I believe the previous Holy Father is asking that we return to the source of our life Jesus in the Eucharist so that we may be nourished for firstly, fighting the good fight, to finish the race we have started and to keep the faith and secondly, so that we may all truly prepare for his coming and he comes to us when we die and he comes to us when He comes again in the final judgement.

All these bring me to the 2nd reason why the Eucharist meant so much for those priests in concentration camps. What have you brought to the Eucharist? Better still, whom did you bring into the Eucharist? You see, you can only bring the Eucharist away with you if you first bring yourself truly into the Eucharist.

This evening, some of our faith will be tested. Procession, monstrance and group of people following a clown carrying a piece of bread. Well, that is the Real Thing—the Body of Christ. But the 2nd Reading also says that we too are members of and we make up the Body of Christ. Therefore, it is appropriate that we want to be more and more authentically or TRULY the Body of Christ. That is why we eat the Body of Christ so that we can become the Body of Christ. And in the procession, it is the Mystical Body of Christ carrying the Real Body of Christ signifying our deepest longing to become more and more really the Body of Christ.

The Catholic Church may seem antiquated and quaint in her practices but really for those who love the Church, there’s a method to the madness called the Catholic Church. So, let us be proud of the immensity of this gift which God has given us: the gift of Himself.

29th May 2005

The Blogger's Prayer 1.1

Something cool I've found on Pastor Sivin's blog. Enjoy! :)

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The Blogger's Prayer 1.1 by Andrew Jones (June, 2002)

Our Father
who lives above and beyond the dimension of the internet

Give us this day a life worth blogging,
The access to words and images that express our journey with passion and integrity,
And a secure connection to publish your daily mercies.
Your Kingdom come into new spaces today,
As we make known your mysteries,
Posting by posting,
Blog by blog.

Give this day,
The same ability to those less privileged,
Whose lives speak louder than ours,
Whose sacrifice is greater,
Whose stories will last longer.

Forgive us our sins,
For blog-rolling strangers and pretending they are friends,
For counting unique visitors but not noticing unique people,
For delighting in the thousands of hits but ignoring the ONE who returns,
For luring viewers but sending them away empty handed,
For updating daily but repenting weekly.

As we forgive those who trespass on our sites to appropriate our thoughts without reference,
Our images without approval,
Our ideas without linking back to us.

Lead us not into the temptation to sell out our congregation,
To see people as links and not as lives,
To make our blogs look better than our actual story.

But deliver us from the evil of pimping ourselves instead of pointing to you,
From turning our guests into consumers of someone else's products,
From infatuation over the toys of technology,
From idolatry over techology
From fame before our time has come.

For Yours is the power to guide the destinies behind the web logs,
To bring hurting people into the sanctuaries of our sites,
To give us the stickiness to follow you, no matter who is watching or reading.
Yours is the glory that makes people second look our sites and our lives,
Yours is the heavy ambience,

For ever and ever,
Amen

WoOooOooHooOoOoOoo!

Omigoodness. Omigoodness. Omigoodness. After last year's disaster (as A.Ng puts it) finally this! I. am. just. so. overjoyed. Praise and thank God for this! I really really really hope I do qualify for a scholarship (at least a discount on the fees! hehe.). Pray for me guys! :D

Irish Examiner: Catholic liberals are facing some hard choices

WHAT a surprise... it wasn’t a surprise. God’s Rottweiler has become God’s German Shepherd. The man who went in as Pope has come out as Pope.

Benedict is the only Pope who was wanted by believers and non-believers alike.

Believers wanted him because he would maintain ultra-conservative traditional family values and give those liberals a well deserved kicking. Non-believers wanted him for the exact same reason in the hope that he will scare the daylights out of moderates, make them leave the church in disgust and add to the growing numbers of non-believers.

The only people who didn’t want Cardinal Ratzinger were those wishy-washy Catholic liberals who were vainly hoping that somehow the next Pope would be a bit more flexible.

It is hard to fathom how Catholic liberals can be so ignorant of their own religion as to believe that the Vatican would allow what it sees as the moral deviance of women priests, divorce, homosexuality and contraception to become part of Catholic doctrine.

Catholic liberals delude themselves that their church is an inclusive democracy with beliefs that can be changed to suit whatever fad is currently in vogue.

If that were true, Catholicism would become nothing more than a fluffy pseudo religion, where everything was permitted and nothing prohibited. Liberals don’t want a proper religion. What they want is a non-judgemental, airy-fairy folk religion which has as much substance as a hot-air balloon.

Catholic liberals have prayed to their God for a liberal Pope, and their God gave them a conservative. Perhaps their God is telling them something. Perhaps they should listen and obey, or just go away.

Catholic liberals are an oxymoron, like environmentalists in favour of nuclear power, socialists in favour of privatisation or monarchists in favour of a republic. They claim to be Catholics and yet publicly disagree with every single one of the church’s moral teachings.

Jason FitzHarris
Rivervalley
Swords
Co Dublin

Your Conscience and Mine

One of the special qualities about a human being is that we were all born with a conscience. This conscience enables us to know a right from a wrong and it is this which seperates us from other beasts of the animal kingdom. St. Paul calls the conscience, "the law (which was) written on (our) hearts" by none other than God Himself. For example: in most (if not all) countries, to kill another fellow human is a crime - notice this commonality shared by people worldwide despite the diferences in terms of culture and geographic locations. This shows that we have a common conscience given to us by the same God.

But since Sin came into the world through our first parents (i.e. Adam & Eve) our conscience was never the same. According to Titus "both ... minds and consciences are corrupted" Which was why we are now more inclined to sin. Do you remember who was the one who taught you to steal? Or the last time you took lessons on "how to lie"? No one taught us any of these but we did it anyway because of our inclination to sin due to a corrupted conscience. Therefore "...all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God" and "(if) we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves..."

We can all agree that crime calls for punishment and so does sin. The sin I am talking about covers from abortion to lying. One thing everyone should know about sin is that we can never atone for the sins we have done. There is no amount of good one can do to "balance off" sin, it just does not work that way. For the "...wages of sin is death". Can a death row prisoner get off the hook just by doing good deeds? By all means, no. We are all "prisoners on death row". That presents us a problem for "(nothing) impure will ever enter (heaven)", are we all doomed to Hell without a slightest chance to go to Heaven?

Fortunately not and thank God for that. Someone has already paid the price of sin. That someone was Jesus (fully Man and fully God), He "(gave) his life as a ransom for many" for the sake of our salvation. He died not just for mankind as a whole but also individually - for you and for me.

Say this prayer if you would like to take the first step towards receiving the gift of salvation Jesus won for you,

"Lord Jesus, I need You. Thank You for dying on the cross for my sins. I open the door of my life and receive You as my Savior and Lord. Thank You for forgiving my sins and giving me eternal life. Take control of the throne of my life. Make me the kind of person You want me to be."

If you have said this prayer, Congratulations! I would like to invite you to participate in the Rite of Christian Initiation for Adults (RCIA) to learn more about the Catholic Christian faith as well as to be on your way to be a full-fledged baptised Catholic Christian by Easter 2006. For more information on this please email me.

And for those who have yet to make your decision, please feel free to email me if you have any questions regarding the Faith. I promise I will do my best in answering your questions. :) Last but not least my all time favourite quote by Jesus...

“I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me"

Amen.

The End of the World

Recently I have been receiving more hits than usual because of the post I made two days ago on the Prophecy of St. Malachy. So I would like to address this issue on the End Times (i.e. end of the world) in greater detail from the Catholic perspective.

For the Church the Prophecy of St. Malachy is categorize as a private revelation; which role is not to "...improve or complete Christ's definitive Revelation, but to help live more fully in a certain period of history." (CCC 67) In other words, "(w)hen the Church approves private revelations, she declares only that there is nothing in them contrary faith or good morals, and that they may be read without danger or even with profit; no obligation is thereby imposed on the faithful to believe them."

[Note: the CCC refers to the "Cathechism of the Catholic Church", which is an official exposition of the Catholic faith]

The fact that the Prophecy of St. Malachy is related to and approved by the Catholic Church (as a private revelation) is what makes it interesting. As most know, Catholics are not known for preaching the End Times (i.e. the Second Coming of Christ). But recently there has been more and more buzz among the Catholic faithful regarding the topic of St. Malachy's Prophecy, which goes to show that the topic of End Times is no longer a topic to be ignored rather it is a topic which should be addressed urgently.

According to CCC 680-682:

Christ the Lord already reigns through the Church, but all the things of this world are not yet subjected to him. The triumph of Christ's kingdom will not come about without one last assault by the powers of evil.

On Judgment Day at the end of the world, Christ will come in glory to achieve the definitive triumph of good over evil which, like the wheat and the tares, have grown up together in the course of history.

When he comes at the end of time to judge the living and the dead, the glorious Christ will reveal the secret disposition of hearts and will render to each man according to his works and according to his acceptance or refusal of grace.

Finally to quote St. Paul in his 1st Letter to the Thessalonians (5:1-3, NLT):

"I really don't need to write to you about how and when all this will happen, dear brothers and sisters. For you know quite well that the day of the Lord will come unexpectedly, like a thief in the night. When people are saying, "All is well; everything is peaceful and secure," then disaster will fall upon them as suddenly as a woman's birth pains begin when her child is about to be born. And there will be no escape."

Pope Benedict XVI

"Dear brothers and sisters, after the great Pope John Paul II, the cardinals have elected me — a simple, humble worker in the vineyard of the Lord... The fact that the Lord can work and act even with insufficient means consoles me, and above all I entrust myself to your prayers... I entrust myself to your prayers."

- Pope Benedict XVI, first public speech (19 April 2005)

The Prophecy of St. Malachy

The Prophecy of St. Malachy is not a very popular one due to it's end times nature.

St. Malachy (Maelmhaedhoc O’Morgair 1094 - Nov. 2, 1148) was the appointed Archbishop of Armagh, who was attributed several miracles and of having a vision with the identity of the last ten Popes in the Vatican. He was canonized by Pope Clement III, on 6 July 1199.

(Courtesy of Wikipedia.com)

The prophecy is also known as the Prophecy of the Popes which "is a list of 112 short Latin phrases purported to describe each of the Roman Catholic popes..., beginning with Pope Celestine II (elected in 1143) and concluding with a future pope described in the prophecy as "Peter the Roman," whose pontificate will end in the destruction of the city of Rome and the Last Judgment." (Wikipedia.com) All of which came true including the latest one which was Pope John Paul II's reign.

According to the list, Pope John Paul II was the 110th pope (i.e. 3rd last pope of the list) and now that he is dead, apparently we are left with 2 more popes before the coming of Christ (although there might be many popes in between these 2 popes as the prophecy merely says that "Peter the Roman" is to be the last pope). So who will be the next pope? No one knows. Because prophecies being prophecies are not explicit and one can only see in hindsight. But we do have a clue, the next pope will fulfill the prophecy of "Gloria olivæ" (which means the "glory of the olive") What does this prophecy mean? ... I am not sure.

But there is one thing which I am sure of that is, Christ's coming is very - very near.

Our Beautiful Letdown

As I reflect on the topic of pain and suffering. I have come to realised that the reason we feel suffering and pain is simply because God built us this way. [OK, I am not finish yet.] Not to torture us, but as a reminder to all of us that we do not belong in this world but in the world that is to come. Just as how your body rejects food that is not compatible to your system, the world gives us pain and suffering simply because we do not belong here! :D

Anyway I think Switchfoot's The Beautiful Letdown, sums it best. (Psst... it's available on my radio.blog! ;))

The Beautiful Letdown

It was a beautiful letdown
When I crashed and burned
When I found myself alone, unknown and hurt
It was a beautiful letdown
The day I knew,
That all the riches this world had to offer me will never do.

In a world full of bitter pain,
and bitter doubts,
I was trying so hard to fit in,
Fit in, until I found out

I don't belong here (I don't belong)
I don't belong here (I don't belong)
I will carry a cross and a song
Where I don't belong
I don't belong

It was a beautiful letdown
When you found me here
Yeah, for once in a rare blue moon
I see everything clear
I'll be a beautiful letdown
That's what I'll forever be
And though it may cost my soul
I'll sing for free

We're still chasing our tails
In the rising sun
In our dark water planet still spinning
In a direction no one wins
No one's won.

See, I don't belong here (I don't belong)
Well, I don't belong here, I don't belong
I will carry a cross
With a song where I don't belong
I don't belong
I don't belong here (I don't belong)
No, I don't belong here, I don't belong
I'm gonna set side
And set sail
For the kingdom come, kingdom come
Your kingdom come
Won't you let me down, yeah
Let my foolish pride forever let me down

Ah, Easy living, you're not much like the name
Easy dying, you look just about the same
Would you please take me off your list
Easy living please c'mon and let me down

We are a beautiful letdown
Painfully uncool
The church of the dropouts
The losers, the sinners, the failures, and the fools
What a beautiful letdown
Are we salt in the wound
Hey, let us sing one true tune

I don't belong here (I don't belong)
It feels like I don't belong here, yeah
It goes like I don't belong here
I don't belong (I don't belong)
Won't you let me down (I don't belong)
C'mon and let me down (I don't belong)
You always let me down (I don't belong)
So glad that I'm let down (I don't belong)
C'mon and let me down (I don't belong)
Cuz I don't belong here
Won't you let me down!

(c) Switchfoot, The Beautiful Letdown (2003)

A Surprise for Me, A "Thank You" for You.

Oh my! I was doing my usual browsing and I discovered that I was in the Top 3 of Best Blogs in Asia. This. Is. Crazy! Haha! Although there were no prizes for being in Top 3 (or even No. 1, for that matter) I would like to say a BIG THANK YOU to those who voted for me. I appreciated it very much. :)

The Evangelist of our Century: Pope John Paul the Great

Pope John Paul the Great was the most travelled pope in history. He visited over 120 countries and was the first pope to visit the White House, a synagogue, a mosque and communist Cuba. From the secular point of view, one might see his travels as efforts for establishing diplomatic relations. But from a Christian point of view I see the Pope's travels as efforts for evangelization, in other words: making Jesus known to the world.

Often these travels result in inter-faith dialogues (with leaders of various faiths), which John Paul the Great use as effective means for mutual understanding, justice and peace. Although he strove hard for these three, John Paul the Great was not afraid to take stands. He did not compromise on the Truth, that salvation is through Jesus alone. Nor did he compromise or agree on controversial issues such as abortion, artificial contraception and women priests; despite pressures from so-called "liberal Catholics".

One may wonder, what was the reason behind his zeal? If you were to ask me, I would tell you it was the Resurrection of our Lord Jesus Christ. Which is also the main reason why we are Christians, as St. Paul says "...if Christ has not been raised, then your faith is useless, and you are still under condemnation for your sins."

Although during his lifetime Pope John Paul the Great had never witness the Resurrection, still he was convicted because of various testimonies from Scripture as well as his own personal experiences with God. His faith in God gave him the strength he needed to carry on his pontificate despite his ailments (one of which was Parkinson's disease) and the hope he had acquired from this faith, enabled him to look beyond his sufferings and to look forward to the world that is to come. Where pain and suffering would be no more (Revelation 21:4)

Pope John Paul the Great, understood that evangelization was never an option for Christians. Rather it is a lifestyle, which he led by example. He lived his commitment as a duty just as St. Paul did,

"Yet when I preach the gospel, I cannot boast, for I am compelled to preach. Woe to me if I do not preach the gospel!" (1 Corinthians 9:16)

To further stress the importance of evangelization, he quoted Pope Paul VI's Apostolic Exhortation, Evangelii Nuntiandi:

"Neither ... the complexity of the questions raised is an invitation to the Church to withhold from these non-Christians the proclamation of Jesus Christ. On the contrary the Church holds that these multitudes have the right to know the riches of the mystery of Christ riches in which we believe that the whole of humanity can find, in unsuspected fullness, everything that it is gropingly searching for concerning God, man and his destiny, life and death, and truth"

Truly if we believed in the Resurrection of our Lord Jesus Christ and our own coming resurrection, not only in our heads but also in our hearts. We would be as zealous and as unwavering as John Paul the Great in making Jesus known to the world.

Pope John Paul II

"I came for you. Now you have come to me. And I thank you."
- Pope John Paul II, to the youths of the world. (2 April 2005)


I'll miss you, Papa.

What About Forgiveness?

I was early for class yesterday and decided to head for the library to do some reading up (since the semester will be ending soon) As I was scouting for a place to study, I found a desk located at a relatively cosy area of the library. On closer observation, it was covered with scribbles (in various handwritings) It was a "scribbled" debate. And it's... you might have guessed it - Christianity. One of the scribbled arguments caught my eye:

"If just by saying sorry to God is enough for you to be forgiven of your sins (even the most terrible ones) Wouldn't that contradict the idea of heaven & hell?"

I smiled to myself.

I know of many people who feel that God will not accept a simple apology. They feel that they need to atone or make up for their sins. I know this because... I was one of them. Not too long ago, I too kept an invisible check-and-balance book of sins & good deeds. Whenever I sin, I make a point to do a good deed (i.e. pray the Rosary) to "clear my sins". I developed this concept because I misunderstood the Sacrament of Confession (or Reconcialiation) You see, after Confession the priest will give penance and these were suppose to help me repent of my sins, not clear my sins. But at that time, I believed that these penance (usually a few Our Fathers and Hail Marys) were some sort of punishment so that I could atone for my sins. So I figured praying the Rosary was more than enough to clear me off my sins (FYI: the Rosary has 6 Our Fathers and 53 Hail Marys)

---

But my perception of the forgiveness of sins soon changed, when I first came up to KL for my studies. A Catholic friend of mine whom I met in church told me about the Four Spiritual Laws. Basically this was what she said:

1. GOD CREATED MAN
   ...and has a wonderful plan in our lives.
   
   
   "I came that they might have life, and might have it abundantly"
   - Jesus (John 10:10)
   
   
   
   Why is it that most people are not experiencing the abundant life? Because...
   
   
2. MAN SINNED
   ...and is separated from God. Therefore, s/he cannot know and experience God's love and plan for his life.
   
   
   "The wages of sin is death" [i.e. spiritual separation from God] (Romans 6:23)
   

   
   

   God is holy and man is sinful. A great gulf separates the two. But man is continually trying to reach God and the abundant life through his own efforts, such as a good life, philosophy, or religion - but he inevitably fails.
   
   Although Man is sinful still...
   
   
3. GOD LOVES MAN
   ...and Jesus Christ is God's ONLY provision for man's sin. Through Him we can know and experience God's love and plan for your life.
   

   He Died in Our Place
   

   "God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us" (Romans 5:8).
   
   

   He Rose From the Dead
   

   "Christ died for our sins...He was buried...He was raised on the third day, according to the Scriptures...He appeared to Peter, then to the twelve. After that He appeared to more than five hundred..." (1 Corinthians 15:3-6).
   
   

   He Is the Only Way to God
   

   "Jesus said to him, 'I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father, but through Me" (John 4:16).
   

   
   

   God has bridged the gulf which separates us from Him by sending His Son, Jesus Christ, to die on the cross in our place to pay the penalty for our sins.

   
   
   
   - It is not enough to know these 3 laws...
   
   
4. MAN MUST RESPOND
   ...which means we must individually RECEIVE Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord; then we can know and experience God's love and plan for our lives.
   
   

   We Must Receive Christ
   

   "As many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, even to those who believe in His name" (John 1:12)
   
   

   We Receive Christ Through Faith
   

   "By grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; not as a result of works, that no one should boast" (Ephesians 2:8,9).
   
   

   When We Receive Christ, We Experience a New Birth
   

   (Read John 3:1-8.)
   
   

   We Receive Christ by Personal Invitation
   

   "Behold, I stand at the door and knock; if any one hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him" - Jesus (Romans 5:8).
   
   

   Receiving Christ involves turning to God from self (repentance) and trusting Christ to come into our lives to forgive our sins and to make us what He wants us to be. Just to agree intellectually that Jesus Christ is the Son of God and that He died on the cross for our sins is not enough. Nor is it enough to have an emotional experience. We receive Jesus Christ by faith, as an act of the will.

- The Four Spiritual Laws was written by Dr. Bill Bright -

---


After I heard what she had said. I finally realize that it is not what I do, rather it was what GOD did which enables me to experience the true joy of forgiveness and to be with Him in heaven. God did the biggest part, which was bridging the gap between Mankind and Himself. All we have to do to be forgiven is to acknowledge our sinfulness (by repentance) and to accept God's gift of forgiveness.

"Lord Jesus, I need You. Thank You for dying on the cross for my sins. I open the door of my life and receive You as my Savior and Lord. Thank You for forgiving my sins and giving me eternal life. Take control of my life. Make me the kind of person You want me to be."

Amen.

Faith.

"...faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see."
- Hebrews 11:1 (NIV)

Food for thought:

If we are able to believe and trust God only when we know the outcome, that would not be faith but - knowledge.


"That is why we live by believing and not by seeing."

- 2 Corinthians 5:7 (NLT)

* flash animation courtesy of Donghaeng

Starving Terri

"For the love of God, I'm begging you, please, don't let my daughter die of thirst,"
- Mary Schindler (Terri Schiavo's mother)

When I read that quote in Peter's blog, my heart dropped as if a scene from a horror movie shocked me. I didn't know who Terri was until I read futher. The more I read the more I was horrified. This was what I gathered:

In 1990, Terri Schindler-Schiavo suffered a heart attack and since then she was diagnosed to be in a Persistent Vegetative State (PVS). But according to Terrisfight.net,

"Terri's behavior does not meet the medical or statutory definition of persistent vegetative state. Terri responds to stimuli, tries to communicate verbally, follows limited commands, laughs or cries in interaction with loved ones, physically distances herself from irritating or painful stimulation and watches loved ones as they move around her. None of these behaviors are simple reflexes and are, instead, voluntary and cognitive. Though Terri has limitations, she does interact purposefully with her environment."

To live, Terri only requires a gastro feeding tube which provides her with food and liquid because she is unable to swallow. Michael Schiavo (Terri's husband, who is currently living with another woman and now has two children of his own) has been fighting with the Schindler's (Terri's family) over the Terri's "right-to-die" for 10 years. Michael claims that Terri told him she would not want to be kept alive artificially. Terri's parents however disputed saying that she could get better and many credible physicians say she can benefit from theraphy. But her husband has denied her of any form of theraphy for the past decade. Sadly on 18th March 2005, Terri's feeding tube was removed and is now starving to death. Terri is in her 10th day now without her feeding tube. She IS dying.

---

I am more sad than angry. I imagined Terri's family frantically trying to fight the battle to keep her alive despite the plug was already pulled. I imagined Terri's mother getting down to her knees in tears, begging to allow her daughter to have some food and water. I imagined how Terri's family begged Michael Schiavo not cremate her body when she dies.

The fact that Terri is Catholic wrenched my heart even further. Because euthanasia is contrary to Catholic teaching. What's more disturbing is Terri was unfairly euthanized, she wants to live. There is still hope for Terri - she is still alive. Let's pray in faith that God will pro-long her life.

I appeal to all of you reading this, to pray for Terri's survival and sustenance. As for us Christians we can offer up sacrifices for Terri in the form of fasting/abstinence and increased prayer time. In addition to that Catholic Christians may also pray the rosary (dedicating each bead to Terri, e.g. ...Holy Mary Mother of God, pray for Terri now at the hour of her death. Amen.), ask St. Jude for Intercession as well as offering Masses.

Remember to P.U.S.H.
- Pray Until Something Happens!

"Yes, ask anything in my name, and I will do it!"
- Jesus (John 14:14, NLT)

credit: picture by Associated Press (AP, www.ap.org)

Jesus!'s New Look!

Dear readers,

The layout of this blog has been changed for maximum blog experience. ^_^ Listed below are the new features of this blog:

God bless!

p/s: updates coming soon!

Ripley's Believe It or Not!

Leprosy Centre in Sg. Buloh

"Hansen's disease, commonly known as leprosy, is an infectious disease caused by infection by Mycobacterium leprae. The modern name of the disease comes from the discoverer of Mycobacterium leprae, G. A. Hansen. Sufferers from Hansen's disease have generally been called lepers, although this term is falling into disuse both from the diminishing number of leprosy patients and from pressure to avoid the demeaning connotations of the term. Also, this term can lead to public misunderstanding because the terms leprosy and leper are used in the Bible to describe a wide range of incurable skin conditions."
- Wikipedia.com

I never knew there was an asylum for the leprosy patients here in Malaysia. Heck, i didn't even know there were leprosy patients in Malaysia! Until Water Into Wine organized a trip to the Leprosy Centre in Sungai Buloh (today) as a Lifeline Outreach.

There were altogether 30 of us who visited the centre. We were divided into groups of 6 or 7 and went about visiting the patients in the wards; distributing food (angku kueh and pulut) as well as bars of soap. Most of the patients were between the age of 50 and above. Some were disfigured while many others had various parts of their body missing.

Even before I entered the ward, I felt uncomfortable. I am not sure what I should say or do. I was also afraid to touch them, not only because of the disease they had. But it was also because I was afraid that by touching them (especially parts where their hands once were) it might hurt their feelings. But I swallowed my fear and joined the rest of the gang in the ward. We begun by visiting the male wards.

The first sight that greeted me was this bed-ridden old man (probably in his 90's) who had flies hovering over him. I don't remember what I did when I saw this sight, but I remembered shortly after what I saw, the next thing I know I was giving out angku kueh's to the patients in the ward. As I was giving out food, I was also trying to strike conversations. I managed to speak to a few of them and got to know that most of the patients there were admitted when they were younger (some as young as 12 years old)!

As Malaysian we fondly address people who are older than us as uncles or aunties, without the usual pre-requisite of them being related to us. That was exactly what I did in my case and the thought of asking their names simply did not cross my mind. Anyway, I was passing out angku kueh to this 70-year old uncle who was bound by an old (and rusty) wheel chair. I placed the angku kueh on a serviette and gave it to him. With his knarled remaining fingers, he tried to eat the sticky angku kueh, and as a result some parts of the serviette got stuck to it...

Me: Uncle, allow me to give you a fresh piece of angku kueh.
Uncle: No need la. It's just some tissue stuck on. I can peel it off.
(still a considerable part of the serviette was stuck to the kueh)
Me: (offering a fresh piece of kueh) Uncle, take this.
Uncle: It's OK! I am already old and eating the paper makes little difference to me.
(before I can persuade him to take the fresh piece, he gobbled it down)

When I saw him not taking care of himself, I felt sad and strangely... bad. I guess the caused for these feelings was probably because the way he treated himself reminiscent of my grandmother, who puts the interest of others above hers often hurting herself. Besides this uncle, I made small talk with a few other patients. Most of them (if not all) converse in the Hokkien dialect. Mind you, I was never proficient in Hokkien (or even Teo-Chew, for that matter) although I usually understand bits and pieces and was able to make out what was said. But while I was conversing with these uncles and aunties in the wards I can only make out 30% of what was said! So what did I do? I tried to be attentive and whenever there was a pause in the conversation I'll either smile, nod or laugh. Even that I have to gauge whether it was appropriate for me to do so.

All in all it was an eye-opening experience. Through this I discovered that to these elderly people, it is more important for me to listen than to contribute to the conversation. The sight of these uncle and aunties reminded me so much of my grandparents (my two grandmas and my grandpa) who are in Johor.

Ah-mah! Po Po! Ah Kong! Tien Zhu Bao You!
(Translation: To both of my grandmothers and to my grandfather. God bless you!)

Hypocrite for Christ

The word "hypocrite" was derived from the Greek language and it literally means "actor". It seems that the word "hypocrite" has always been attributed in a negative sense. The Easton's 1897 Bible Dictionary defines it as "one who puts on a mask and feigns himself to be what he is not". But isn't being a Christian meant that you have to be a hypocrite as well? Yikes. OK before you hit the "Say Something!" link, I do mean this in a positive manner!

As Christians we are called to be like Christ, which means to be more like Him and less like ourselves. But this change does not happen overnight and it takes time. So what do we do between current state and change? Simple: we put on a mask and pretend we are already like Jesus!

I remember my mum used to tell me to pinch the tip of my nose to make it look "sharper". But I would have to do it long-term for my nose to take shape (fyi: i still have my jacky-chan-nose). It is the same with the Jesus-mask. It doesn't matter if we are all gooey, mushed-up and horrid behind it. As long as we are willing to bear with it, we will eventually conform to the shape of the mask and be more like Jesus.

In many ways by doing this we are being a hypocrite. But what makes the whole lot of difference is that we are striving as well as aspiring to be like Jesus; and not just merely pretending and forgetting about it when no one's looking. So for those of you who are striving for Christ-likeness, keep it up! And for those of you who are unsure about whether being Christ-like is no different from being a typical hypocrite, I would say pray about it and let God show you there is nothing wrong to be a hypocrite for Christ. Amen.