Our Beautiful Letdown

As I reflect on the topic of pain and suffering. I have come to realised that the reason we feel suffering and pain is simply because God built us this way. [OK, I am not finish yet.] Not to torture us, but as a reminder to all of us that we do not belong in this world but in the world that is to come. Just as how your body rejects food that is not compatible to your system, the world gives us pain and suffering simply because we do not belong here! :D

Anyway I think Switchfoot's The Beautiful Letdown, sums it best. (Psst... it's available on my radio.blog! ;))

The Beautiful Letdown

It was a beautiful letdown
When I crashed and burned
When I found myself alone, unknown and hurt
It was a beautiful letdown
The day I knew,
That all the riches this world had to offer me will never do.

In a world full of bitter pain,
and bitter doubts,
I was trying so hard to fit in,
Fit in, until I found out

I don't belong here (I don't belong)
I don't belong here (I don't belong)
I will carry a cross and a song
Where I don't belong
I don't belong

It was a beautiful letdown
When you found me here
Yeah, for once in a rare blue moon
I see everything clear
I'll be a beautiful letdown
That's what I'll forever be
And though it may cost my soul
I'll sing for free

We're still chasing our tails
In the rising sun
In our dark water planet still spinning
In a direction no one wins
No one's won.

See, I don't belong here (I don't belong)
Well, I don't belong here, I don't belong
I will carry a cross
With a song where I don't belong
I don't belong
I don't belong here (I don't belong)
No, I don't belong here, I don't belong
I'm gonna set side
And set sail
For the kingdom come, kingdom come
Your kingdom come
Won't you let me down, yeah
Let my foolish pride forever let me down

Ah, Easy living, you're not much like the name
Easy dying, you look just about the same
Would you please take me off your list
Easy living please c'mon and let me down

We are a beautiful letdown
Painfully uncool
The church of the dropouts
The losers, the sinners, the failures, and the fools
What a beautiful letdown
Are we salt in the wound
Hey, let us sing one true tune

I don't belong here (I don't belong)
It feels like I don't belong here, yeah
It goes like I don't belong here
I don't belong (I don't belong)
Won't you let me down (I don't belong)
C'mon and let me down (I don't belong)
You always let me down (I don't belong)
So glad that I'm let down (I don't belong)
C'mon and let me down (I don't belong)
Cuz I don't belong here
Won't you let me down!

(c) Switchfoot, The Beautiful Letdown (2003)

A Surprise for Me, A "Thank You" for You.

Oh my! I was doing my usual browsing and I discovered that I was in the Top 3 of Best Blogs in Asia. This. Is. Crazy! Haha! Although there were no prizes for being in Top 3 (or even No. 1, for that matter) I would like to say a BIG THANK YOU to those who voted for me. I appreciated it very much. :)

The Evangelist of our Century: Pope John Paul the Great

Pope John Paul the Great was the most travelled pope in history. He visited over 120 countries and was the first pope to visit the White House, a synagogue, a mosque and communist Cuba. From the secular point of view, one might see his travels as efforts for establishing diplomatic relations. But from a Christian point of view I see the Pope's travels as efforts for evangelization, in other words: making Jesus known to the world.

Often these travels result in inter-faith dialogues (with leaders of various faiths), which John Paul the Great use as effective means for mutual understanding, justice and peace. Although he strove hard for these three, John Paul the Great was not afraid to take stands. He did not compromise on the Truth, that salvation is through Jesus alone. Nor did he compromise or agree on controversial issues such as abortion, artificial contraception and women priests; despite pressures from so-called "liberal Catholics".

One may wonder, what was the reason behind his zeal? If you were to ask me, I would tell you it was the Resurrection of our Lord Jesus Christ. Which is also the main reason why we are Christians, as St. Paul says "...if Christ has not been raised, then your faith is useless, and you are still under condemnation for your sins."

Although during his lifetime Pope John Paul the Great had never witness the Resurrection, still he was convicted because of various testimonies from Scripture as well as his own personal experiences with God. His faith in God gave him the strength he needed to carry on his pontificate despite his ailments (one of which was Parkinson's disease) and the hope he had acquired from this faith, enabled him to look beyond his sufferings and to look forward to the world that is to come. Where pain and suffering would be no more (Revelation 21:4)

Pope John Paul the Great, understood that evangelization was never an option for Christians. Rather it is a lifestyle, which he led by example. He lived his commitment as a duty just as St. Paul did,

"Yet when I preach the gospel, I cannot boast, for I am compelled to preach. Woe to me if I do not preach the gospel!" (1 Corinthians 9:16)

To further stress the importance of evangelization, he quoted Pope Paul VI's Apostolic Exhortation, Evangelii Nuntiandi:

"Neither ... the complexity of the questions raised is an invitation to the Church to withhold from these non-Christians the proclamation of Jesus Christ. On the contrary the Church holds that these multitudes have the right to know the riches of the mystery of Christ riches in which we believe that the whole of humanity can find, in unsuspected fullness, everything that it is gropingly searching for concerning God, man and his destiny, life and death, and truth"

Truly if we believed in the Resurrection of our Lord Jesus Christ and our own coming resurrection, not only in our heads but also in our hearts. We would be as zealous and as unwavering as John Paul the Great in making Jesus known to the world.

Pope John Paul II

"I came for you. Now you have come to me. And I thank you."
- Pope John Paul II, to the youths of the world. (2 April 2005)


I'll miss you, Papa.

What About Forgiveness?

I was early for class yesterday and decided to head for the library to do some reading up (since the semester will be ending soon) As I was scouting for a place to study, I found a desk located at a relatively cosy area of the library. On closer observation, it was covered with scribbles (in various handwritings) It was a "scribbled" debate. And it's... you might have guessed it - Christianity. One of the scribbled arguments caught my eye:

"If just by saying sorry to God is enough for you to be forgiven of your sins (even the most terrible ones) Wouldn't that contradict the idea of heaven & hell?"

I smiled to myself.

I know of many people who feel that God will not accept a simple apology. They feel that they need to atone or make up for their sins. I know this because... I was one of them. Not too long ago, I too kept an invisible check-and-balance book of sins & good deeds. Whenever I sin, I make a point to do a good deed (i.e. pray the Rosary) to "clear my sins". I developed this concept because I misunderstood the Sacrament of Confession (or Reconcialiation) You see, after Confession the priest will give penance and these were suppose to help me repent of my sins, not clear my sins. But at that time, I believed that these penance (usually a few Our Fathers and Hail Marys) were some sort of punishment so that I could atone for my sins. So I figured praying the Rosary was more than enough to clear me off my sins (FYI: the Rosary has 6 Our Fathers and 53 Hail Marys)

---

But my perception of the forgiveness of sins soon changed, when I first came up to KL for my studies. A Catholic friend of mine whom I met in church told me about the Four Spiritual Laws. Basically this was what she said:

1. GOD CREATED MAN
   ...and has a wonderful plan in our lives.
   
   
   "I came that they might have life, and might have it abundantly"
   - Jesus (John 10:10)
   
   
   
   Why is it that most people are not experiencing the abundant life? Because...
   
   
2. MAN SINNED
   ...and is separated from God. Therefore, s/he cannot know and experience God's love and plan for his life.
   
   
   "The wages of sin is death" [i.e. spiritual separation from God] (Romans 6:23)
   

   
   

   God is holy and man is sinful. A great gulf separates the two. But man is continually trying to reach God and the abundant life through his own efforts, such as a good life, philosophy, or religion - but he inevitably fails.
   
   Although Man is sinful still...
   
   
3. GOD LOVES MAN
   ...and Jesus Christ is God's ONLY provision for man's sin. Through Him we can know and experience God's love and plan for your life.
   

   He Died in Our Place
   

   "God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us" (Romans 5:8).
   
   

   He Rose From the Dead
   

   "Christ died for our sins...He was buried...He was raised on the third day, according to the Scriptures...He appeared to Peter, then to the twelve. After that He appeared to more than five hundred..." (1 Corinthians 15:3-6).
   
   

   He Is the Only Way to God
   

   "Jesus said to him, 'I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father, but through Me" (John 4:16).
   

   
   

   God has bridged the gulf which separates us from Him by sending His Son, Jesus Christ, to die on the cross in our place to pay the penalty for our sins.

   
   
   
   - It is not enough to know these 3 laws...
   
   
4. MAN MUST RESPOND
   ...which means we must individually RECEIVE Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord; then we can know and experience God's love and plan for our lives.
   
   

   We Must Receive Christ
   

   "As many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, even to those who believe in His name" (John 1:12)
   
   

   We Receive Christ Through Faith
   

   "By grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; not as a result of works, that no one should boast" (Ephesians 2:8,9).
   
   

   When We Receive Christ, We Experience a New Birth
   

   (Read John 3:1-8.)
   
   

   We Receive Christ by Personal Invitation
   

   "Behold, I stand at the door and knock; if any one hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him" - Jesus (Romans 5:8).
   
   

   Receiving Christ involves turning to God from self (repentance) and trusting Christ to come into our lives to forgive our sins and to make us what He wants us to be. Just to agree intellectually that Jesus Christ is the Son of God and that He died on the cross for our sins is not enough. Nor is it enough to have an emotional experience. We receive Jesus Christ by faith, as an act of the will.

- The Four Spiritual Laws was written by Dr. Bill Bright -

---


After I heard what she had said. I finally realize that it is not what I do, rather it was what GOD did which enables me to experience the true joy of forgiveness and to be with Him in heaven. God did the biggest part, which was bridging the gap between Mankind and Himself. All we have to do to be forgiven is to acknowledge our sinfulness (by repentance) and to accept God's gift of forgiveness.

"Lord Jesus, I need You. Thank You for dying on the cross for my sins. I open the door of my life and receive You as my Savior and Lord. Thank You for forgiving my sins and giving me eternal life. Take control of my life. Make me the kind of person You want me to be."

Amen.

Faith.

"...faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see."
- Hebrews 11:1 (NIV)

Food for thought:

If we are able to believe and trust God only when we know the outcome, that would not be faith but - knowledge.


"That is why we live by believing and not by seeing."

- 2 Corinthians 5:7 (NLT)

* flash animation courtesy of Donghaeng

Starving Terri

"For the love of God, I'm begging you, please, don't let my daughter die of thirst,"
- Mary Schindler (Terri Schiavo's mother)

When I read that quote in Peter's blog, my heart dropped as if a scene from a horror movie shocked me. I didn't know who Terri was until I read futher. The more I read the more I was horrified. This was what I gathered:

In 1990, Terri Schindler-Schiavo suffered a heart attack and since then she was diagnosed to be in a Persistent Vegetative State (PVS). But according to Terrisfight.net,

"Terri's behavior does not meet the medical or statutory definition of persistent vegetative state. Terri responds to stimuli, tries to communicate verbally, follows limited commands, laughs or cries in interaction with loved ones, physically distances herself from irritating or painful stimulation and watches loved ones as they move around her. None of these behaviors are simple reflexes and are, instead, voluntary and cognitive. Though Terri has limitations, she does interact purposefully with her environment."

To live, Terri only requires a gastro feeding tube which provides her with food and liquid because she is unable to swallow. Michael Schiavo (Terri's husband, who is currently living with another woman and now has two children of his own) has been fighting with the Schindler's (Terri's family) over the Terri's "right-to-die" for 10 years. Michael claims that Terri told him she would not want to be kept alive artificially. Terri's parents however disputed saying that she could get better and many credible physicians say she can benefit from theraphy. But her husband has denied her of any form of theraphy for the past decade. Sadly on 18th March 2005, Terri's feeding tube was removed and is now starving to death. Terri is in her 10th day now without her feeding tube. She IS dying.

---

I am more sad than angry. I imagined Terri's family frantically trying to fight the battle to keep her alive despite the plug was already pulled. I imagined Terri's mother getting down to her knees in tears, begging to allow her daughter to have some food and water. I imagined how Terri's family begged Michael Schiavo not cremate her body when she dies.

The fact that Terri is Catholic wrenched my heart even further. Because euthanasia is contrary to Catholic teaching. What's more disturbing is Terri was unfairly euthanized, she wants to live. There is still hope for Terri - she is still alive. Let's pray in faith that God will pro-long her life.

I appeal to all of you reading this, to pray for Terri's survival and sustenance. As for us Christians we can offer up sacrifices for Terri in the form of fasting/abstinence and increased prayer time. In addition to that Catholic Christians may also pray the rosary (dedicating each bead to Terri, e.g. ...Holy Mary Mother of God, pray for Terri now at the hour of her death. Amen.), ask St. Jude for Intercession as well as offering Masses.

Remember to P.U.S.H.
- Pray Until Something Happens!

"Yes, ask anything in my name, and I will do it!"
- Jesus (John 14:14, NLT)

credit: picture by Associated Press (AP, www.ap.org)

Jesus!'s New Look!

Dear readers,

The layout of this blog has been changed for maximum blog experience. ^_^ Listed below are the new features of this blog:

God bless!

p/s: updates coming soon!

Ripley's Believe It or Not!

Leprosy Centre in Sg. Buloh

"Hansen's disease, commonly known as leprosy, is an infectious disease caused by infection by Mycobacterium leprae. The modern name of the disease comes from the discoverer of Mycobacterium leprae, G. A. Hansen. Sufferers from Hansen's disease have generally been called lepers, although this term is falling into disuse both from the diminishing number of leprosy patients and from pressure to avoid the demeaning connotations of the term. Also, this term can lead to public misunderstanding because the terms leprosy and leper are used in the Bible to describe a wide range of incurable skin conditions."
- Wikipedia.com

I never knew there was an asylum for the leprosy patients here in Malaysia. Heck, i didn't even know there were leprosy patients in Malaysia! Until Water Into Wine organized a trip to the Leprosy Centre in Sungai Buloh (today) as a Lifeline Outreach.

There were altogether 30 of us who visited the centre. We were divided into groups of 6 or 7 and went about visiting the patients in the wards; distributing food (angku kueh and pulut) as well as bars of soap. Most of the patients were between the age of 50 and above. Some were disfigured while many others had various parts of their body missing.

Even before I entered the ward, I felt uncomfortable. I am not sure what I should say or do. I was also afraid to touch them, not only because of the disease they had. But it was also because I was afraid that by touching them (especially parts where their hands once were) it might hurt their feelings. But I swallowed my fear and joined the rest of the gang in the ward. We begun by visiting the male wards.

The first sight that greeted me was this bed-ridden old man (probably in his 90's) who had flies hovering over him. I don't remember what I did when I saw this sight, but I remembered shortly after what I saw, the next thing I know I was giving out angku kueh's to the patients in the ward. As I was giving out food, I was also trying to strike conversations. I managed to speak to a few of them and got to know that most of the patients there were admitted when they were younger (some as young as 12 years old)!

As Malaysian we fondly address people who are older than us as uncles or aunties, without the usual pre-requisite of them being related to us. That was exactly what I did in my case and the thought of asking their names simply did not cross my mind. Anyway, I was passing out angku kueh to this 70-year old uncle who was bound by an old (and rusty) wheel chair. I placed the angku kueh on a serviette and gave it to him. With his knarled remaining fingers, he tried to eat the sticky angku kueh, and as a result some parts of the serviette got stuck to it...

Me: Uncle, allow me to give you a fresh piece of angku kueh.
Uncle: No need la. It's just some tissue stuck on. I can peel it off.
(still a considerable part of the serviette was stuck to the kueh)
Me: (offering a fresh piece of kueh) Uncle, take this.
Uncle: It's OK! I am already old and eating the paper makes little difference to me.
(before I can persuade him to take the fresh piece, he gobbled it down)

When I saw him not taking care of himself, I felt sad and strangely... bad. I guess the caused for these feelings was probably because the way he treated himself reminiscent of my grandmother, who puts the interest of others above hers often hurting herself. Besides this uncle, I made small talk with a few other patients. Most of them (if not all) converse in the Hokkien dialect. Mind you, I was never proficient in Hokkien (or even Teo-Chew, for that matter) although I usually understand bits and pieces and was able to make out what was said. But while I was conversing with these uncles and aunties in the wards I can only make out 30% of what was said! So what did I do? I tried to be attentive and whenever there was a pause in the conversation I'll either smile, nod or laugh. Even that I have to gauge whether it was appropriate for me to do so.

All in all it was an eye-opening experience. Through this I discovered that to these elderly people, it is more important for me to listen than to contribute to the conversation. The sight of these uncle and aunties reminded me so much of my grandparents (my two grandmas and my grandpa) who are in Johor.

Ah-mah! Po Po! Ah Kong! Tien Zhu Bao You!
(Translation: To both of my grandmothers and to my grandfather. God bless you!)

Hypocrite for Christ

The word "hypocrite" was derived from the Greek language and it literally means "actor". It seems that the word "hypocrite" has always been attributed in a negative sense. The Easton's 1897 Bible Dictionary defines it as "one who puts on a mask and feigns himself to be what he is not". But isn't being a Christian meant that you have to be a hypocrite as well? Yikes. OK before you hit the "Say Something!" link, I do mean this in a positive manner!

As Christians we are called to be like Christ, which means to be more like Him and less like ourselves. But this change does not happen overnight and it takes time. So what do we do between current state and change? Simple: we put on a mask and pretend we are already like Jesus!

I remember my mum used to tell me to pinch the tip of my nose to make it look "sharper". But I would have to do it long-term for my nose to take shape (fyi: i still have my jacky-chan-nose). It is the same with the Jesus-mask. It doesn't matter if we are all gooey, mushed-up and horrid behind it. As long as we are willing to bear with it, we will eventually conform to the shape of the mask and be more like Jesus.

In many ways by doing this we are being a hypocrite. But what makes the whole lot of difference is that we are striving as well as aspiring to be like Jesus; and not just merely pretending and forgetting about it when no one's looking. So for those of you who are striving for Christ-likeness, keep it up! And for those of you who are unsure about whether being Christ-like is no different from being a typical hypocrite, I would say pray about it and let God show you there is nothing wrong to be a hypocrite for Christ. Amen.

Christian Self-realization

Mahatma Gandhi was once asked this question: "What do you think is the one thing which hinders the spread of Christianity in India?" Without hesitation, he answered: "Christians."

Self-righteousness. I struggle with this a lot, especially when I am evangelising. Often without realising, I will throw "intellectual" questions as well as quoting from famous people to challenge the other person's beliefs. I thought that by throwing them compelling questions & quotes was the only effective method of evangelism. Honestly, I can tell you that I was more concerned for the person's soul than for the person as a whole. Little did I know, I was losing the very person I was trying to reach out to and I come across as a person who likes to make people feel small.

I came to the realization when my aunt whom I was evangelising to told me one day: "I don't think you are there yet." (i.e. found God) Initially I was a little offended by that seemingly judgmental comment, but as I reflected further I found that she was right: I was not being Christ-like.

I know that God is still not done with me (i.e. I am a "work" in progress) and I pray that as I am continually being molded by Him, God will help the people whom I come in contact with be patient with me, as well as to other Christians who are also continually being molded by God.

But if we are the body

Why aren't His arms reaching?

Why aren't His hands healing?

Why aren't His words teaching?

And if we are the body

Why aren't His feet going?

Why is His love not showing them there is a way?

There is a way

Jesus is the way

(c) Casting Crowns - Casting Crowns (2003)

Lunar New Year Love-Hate Relationship

When I was in primary school, I had a love-hate relationship with the Lunar New Year. I loved it because it is THE time of the year where I had the opportunity to stock-up money in bulk and of course, the opportunity to stock myself up in bulk. ;) I hated the Lunar New Year as much as I loved it, because during the period of 15 days I had to observe various superstitions and taboos.

Among the superstitions/taboos I was told...

• Do not wash your hair lest your luck gets washed away
• Do not sweep lest you sweep away all your luck
• Pulling a long face, risk a bleak year ahead
• Do not say negative things or negative "sounding" words, else it will come true! (e.g. "book" in Mandarin is pronounced as "shu". The word "lose" shares the same pronounciation, thus the "negativeness" of the word)

Honestly, I hated the Lunar New Year because I was afraid of it. I was afraid that my "inauspicious" action(s) will result in my own downfall or worse: the downfall of my family members. So during the Lunar New Year, I will be extra-careful with the words I use or the actions I take. And it was 15-days-of-stress and I felt trapped. I was in bondage.

As far as I could remember, this bondage lasted until my Confirmation year (which I had my first memorable encounter with God). In that year alone, I realised that even if I broke a mirror, crossed the path of a black cat or was born on Friday the 13th; my life still goes on unaffected because I chose not to be bound by these superstitions/taboos of the world.

In short, I chose Christ.

Honestly, now that I have done away with all these taboos and superstitions; I find celebrating the Lunar New Year more... - enjoyable. I spend less time worrying and more time basking in the pleasure and company of my family. :)

Have a Blessed & Joyous Lunar New Year!

What is this thing called "Grace"?

I believe "grace" is one of the overused words in Christian jargon. Many Christians that I come in contact with, do not really know its meaning although it is used very often to describe their walk with God. ;)

Some of you might know that, the Blessed Virgin Mary was called "full of grace" when Gabriel (one of the archangels) paid her a visit. Some Bible translation, uses "favoured one" instead of the above. Either way, it means the same. Grace means favour. What's more it is a gift only from God.

If Grace = Favour. Therefore the classic hymn Amazing Grace by John Newton means Amazing Favour! What was this favour that God did for John Newton that he dared call it "amazing"? The answer lies in John 3:16:

"For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son,
so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life."

Jesus came to give His life as a ransom for many. A ransom for the debt of our sins. He favours us so much that He is willing to save us through His death. So that those who believe in Him will enjoy eternity with Him in heaven.

Amazing grace! How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost, but now am found,
Was blind, but now I see.
~ John Newton (1725-1807) ~

The Deliberate Intention of God

"Does God really care?"

I believe this is one the many questions about God that we ask most often - yes... including me. ;) It was last week or so, at a silent retreat that I stumbled upon the answer to this question but in the form of a question.

"what is man that you are mindful of him,

the son of man that you care for him?"

(Psalm 8:4, NIV)

And I thought to myself:

OK, why David finds 'mindful' synonymous with 'care'?

Why is it that when God thinks of us (i.e. mindful); He cares for us?

I can think of someone, say my enemy but that doesn't mean I care for him/her!

So as I spent my quiet time meditating upon this verse, the Holy Spirit revealed to me these insights:

Essentially we are made from nothing. Yeah, I know the bible says that we came from dust. But where is soil from? :)Everything in this universe is willed by God. Here the word "will" means "deliberate intention". God deliberately intended to have this universe. When God "deliberately intends" stuff, He thinks.

Unlike us, His thoughts materialized and viola! - Creation. But it doesn't stop there. To keep Creation as it is (i.e. materialized), God has to remember it constantly (i.e. mindful).

From the universe to the galaxies. From the galaxies to the solar systems. From the solar systems to the planets. From the planets to Earth. From Earth to the people living in it. From the people living in it to the basic components that they were made of. Not to mention various itty bitty details (i.e. law of gravity, boiling points, human/animal/plant anatomy, etc...)Goodness! To sustain all of the above God has to remember them ALL constantly! AWESOME!

When I recall the times where I have sinned. I feel guilty, for the fact that God still thinks of me even during the act of sin! Imagine your mum caught you stealing money from her purse, heart-broken she still clothes and feeds you... On the other hand, when I feel really down and I felt that no one cares about me anymore. I can be sure that still God does. Why?

Because He alone sustains my existence. And I still exist.

That alone shows He cares. :)

AMAZINGLY FEARLESS RACE!

Top 10 Experiences of 2004

2004 has been a year of new experiences. Here is the list of my top ten (in chronological order)...

1. Co-leading House Of Manna (cell group)
2. Giving my first Lifeline talk which was on evangelism
   ...and subsequently my second on suffering
   
3. My first time to Sabah!
4. My first job as a "Corporate Marketing Executive"
5. ...and getting my first paycheck!
6. Participating in Lifeline's Amazingly Fearless Race!
7. Flunked my A-level...
8. Working part-time in the Youth Centre
   
9. My first time to Langkawi and hanging out with fellow parish workers
10. And the night before 2005: my first salsa new year party

Although not all of the above experiences was good, still I want to praise and thank the Lord because it is He who charted my life and I believe that God has more new experiences in store for me this 2005. God alone sums it best:

"I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out--plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for."
-Jeremiah 29:11-

Blessed New Year!

The Coming

Initially when I got to know about the earthquake tremors from fellow Penang bloggers, I thought it was just minor. It was only during these few days with all the news reports that the seriousness of the quake strucked me!

- My heart is burdened by these calamities and my prayers goes out to the victims of the quake. -

Apparently the high-death tolls was due to the fact that there was no warning of coming tsunamis! Latest death toll to date: 55,000 (what's more disease could double the current number!) During these few days as I was contemplating on what had happened, I was reminded of Christ's coming. For Jesus said:

"Know this: A homeowner who knew exactly when a burglar was coming would stay alert and not permit the house to be broken into. You also must be ready all the time. For the Son of Man will come when least expected."
-Matthew 24:43,44- (NLT)

While tourists were having the time of their lives on the beach and as natives were making a living, in a blink of an eye the strong currents and tidal waves swept them away. I cringed as I imagined I was among those caught unawares... And I cringed even more, when I think about the times where I blatantly sin without giving a hoot about God! As St. Paul says:

"I don't think, friends, that I need to deal with the question of when all this is going to happen. You know as well as I that the day of the Master's coming can't be posted on our calendars. He won't call ahead and make an appointment any more than a burglar would. About the time everybody's walking around complacently, congratulating each other--"We've sure got it made! Now we can take it easy!"-suddenly everything will fall apart. It's going to come as suddenly and inescapably as birth pangs to a pregnant woman.

But friends, you're not in the dark, so how could you be taken off guard by any of this? You're sons of Light, daughters of Day. We live under wide open skies and know where we stand. So let's not sleepwalk through life like those others. Let's keep our eyes open and be smart. People sleep at night and get drunk at night. But not us! Since we're creatures of Day, let's act like it. Walk out into the daylight sober, dressed up in faith, love, and the hope of salvation.

God didn't set us up for an angry rejection but for salvation by our Master, Jesus Christ. He died for us, a death that triggered life. Whether we're awake with the living or asleep with the dead, we're alive with him! So speak encouraging words to one another. Build up hope so you'll all be together in this, no one left out, no one left behind. I know you're already doing this; just keep on doing it."

- 1 Thessalonians 5:1-11 - (Msg)

Oh my Jesus forgive us our sins, save us from the fires of hell. Lead all those to Heaven especially those most in need of Your mercy. Amen.

Interview with Malaysian Idol's Nikki Palikat

She was the girl who blew Roslan Aziz away, the one Jee wanted to see more of, the one who was told by Paul Moss "You look beautiful...". Who's that girl? For Malaysian Idol fans, you'd know that I'm referring to none other than Nicolette Palikat; better known as Nikki.

She was here from her hometown of Sabah for the Christmas Carols with the stars organised by The Council of Churches of Malaysia on 15th November. Never one to pass up a golden opportunity, Lifeline took this chance to interview her, asking questions about practically everything under the sun. Read on to see what our intrepid reporter unearthed...


DID YOU KNOW THAT NIKKI...


...hated singing as a child?
Perhaps it had to do with being the fifth child in a musically talented family of 6 girls and a boy. The turning point came at the tender age of 10 - she sang along to "Hero" by Mariah Carey, imitating the full range of vocal acrobatics of the diva herself. At that point, her whole perception of singing changed as she unearthed a previously buried talent.


...almost missed Malaysian Idol?
Being a student, Nikki couldn't afford the plane ticket from Sabah to Kuching, Sarawak where the auditions were held. Her mother also objected to her idea of auditioning for Malaysian Idol. When all seemed lost, help came from an unexpected source - her elder sister Adriane. (Growing up, Nikki & Adriane didn't get along. They were the two most musically inclined in the family, yet total opposites - Nikki hated musical instruments while Adriane played almost every kind!). Nikki shares that Malaysian Idol has brought both sisters closer together, and for that she is thankful.


...felt God's presence the most at the lowest point of the competition?
Shockingly, Nikki was eliminated at the first workshop. Feeling depressed and discouraged, she was becoming a pain in the neck to her sisters, and to make matters worse, was coughing seemingly non-stop.

At that point, a call came to say that she had been selected as one of the "Wildcards" (effectively meaning that she had been given a second chance to be in the Final 12). Instead of being grateful, Nikki ranted and raved at God, "Why God? Why now that I am coughing non-stop? Am I to make a fool of myself at the Wildcard?" Overwhelmed by the emotional roller-coaster ride, she finally broke down and cried. It was then that God spoke through her elder sister Melissa (youth minister of Life Teen, Kota Kinabalu) Melissa randomly picked out a card from a deck of bible verses and it turned out to be Nikki's favourite verse:

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
- Jeremiah 29:11 -

Melissa reminded her that it was God's opinion that mattered and not Man's, and that the Malaysian Idol journey was a mission from God which she was to complete without losing focus.

And how did everything turn out? Despite her cough, Nikki did a beautiful rendition of Christina Aguilera's 'The Voice Within' .


...nearly cried on stage?
This happened while she was singing 'The Voice Within' because this song reminded her so much of God and the mission she was to complete. Obviously, the crowd thought she was a hit too, and she got through to the Top 6 of Malaysian Idol.


...faced difficulties because of her faith?
During a photo shoot, she was requested to remove the crucifix that she was wearing round her neck. Although it was explained to her that it was the newspaper's policy, Nikki felt insulted. Indignantly, she kept it on (but shifted it to the back) and continued the photo shoot.

Unaccustomed to constant swearing, Nikki requested someone on the show not to swear so much. To which she was told to lighten up, and to accept the person as she was, just as the person accepted her as she was. This conversation was overheard by a third party, who asked Nikki if she was a Catholic Christian. When Nikki confirmed that she was, the guy responded 'No wonder'.

It may have been meant as an insult, but I'd say it's a good thing that non-Christians are aware of Christian standards of behaviour, wouldn't you say?


...was accused of being 'sombong' (proud and stand-offish)?
During a visit to Times Square, she was rumoured to be acting like a diva, never satisfied with the perks given to the contestants of Malaysian Idol. When Nikki's sisters heard this, they were shocked because Nikki had been raving to them over the phone about her amazing visit to Times Square! The rumours apparently came from an inside source - this taught Nikki to choose her close friends and confidantes carefully.


...prays together with Jac & Andrew before each round of competition?
This has been a routine for Nikki, Jac and Andrew. Nikki believes in the promise made by Jesus where He said:

"For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them."
- Matthew 18:20 -

Praying has helped her draw closer to God as well as to the other contestants she prays with.


...learned to praise God in every circumstance?
Throughout her journey in Malaysian Idol, Nikki learned to praise God in joy and in suffering. When she was eliminated in the first round, when she re-entered the competition through the Wildcard, when she made it through to the Final 6, when her finger got jammed in the van door - through it all, she praised the Lord. And that, she says, is a lesson she will keep for life.


For Nikki, our meeting was a change from the usual meet-the-fans session (what with the crowd being much smaller than expected). We all had the opportunity to talk and share our testimonies over a cup of grass jelly with milk (a.k.a. 'susu leong fun', a local favourite in Sabah). We got to know Nikki as a regular young lady - a gracious, charming and down-to-earth person with an amazing love for God.

All in all, it was a fun evening. Nikki's quote at 8TV's Quickie sums it up best:

"I loved the way everything turned out. It was how God wanted it. It was how I wanted it."

Praise God.

Christmas Homecoming

Coming home for Christmas has been what I have been doing since I started college. And this year is no different. I was home for Christmas, except that the journey back was... - well, read on.

As the same with last year, my aunt had planned that we go home together for Christmas. But the difference was, this year "we" includes me, my aunt and my aunt's boss; Mr. AB (who was hitching a ride from us to Malacca, which is on the way to Johor) Which was fine with me.

- Fast forward to the journey back home -

There we were in my aunt's sporty 3-door yellow Vitara. She in the driver's seat, Mr. AB in the passenger's seat and me at the back, accompanying all the luggage and Christmas presents; there was barely enough room for my hands and legs. Anyway, by the time we reached the PLUS highway, I was already dozing off with my copy of Amy Tan's The Kitchen God's Wife opened on my lap, while my aunt and her boss yakked away, until I heard...

Mr. AB: J sent me an email with the header saying; "Good morning in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ!". I was like what?! "Shit, in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ!" (laughs)

Aunt: (nervous laugh; while peering at me through the rear mirror looking at my reaction)

From the tone of Mr. AB's voice, I deduced that he was not too fond of J. But mocking Jesus was way too much. That was enough to wake me from slumber (and of course, with the adrenaline flowing in my blood) I glared at my aunt's reflection, in the rear mirror looking back at me to show that I was angry and frustrated. And I would so like to give him a piece of my mind but at the same time, I would not want to put my aunt in a spot. Honestly, I was trying real hard controlling my rage (those who know me will know how hard that is)

I was so frustrated that I begun to pray silently and fervently for Mr. AB, directing my hand at his head. I also prayed that God will teach me how to respond. I prayed for at least an hour or so, while the yakking continued (talking about having quiet time!) And praise God! The Lord inspired me in what I should say and I was just waiting for the timing to be perfect.

---

Finally, we arrived in Malacca at my aunt's boss' doorstep. As he was getting down the jeep...

Mr. AB: I am sorry you had to sit at the back... By the way, thank you for letting me have the passenger's seat.

Me: You're welcome. [getting off the jeep also, stretching legs]

Mr. AB: [polite grin] [beginning to turn his back and move towards the frontgate]

Me: Mr. AB. [nonchalant look]

Mr. AB: [turning 'round] Yeah?

Me: [forced a smile, extends hand for a handshake] [grab hand] I would like to wish you a Merry Christmas in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ!

[The expression on Mr. AB's face was priceless.]

Although it was not easy greeting him especially after what he said about my Lord & Saviour, I was glad I did. And it was through God's grace I was able to do so. As the Bible says...

"Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. ...If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head. Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. "
-Romans 12:14, 20, 21-

~ Blessed Christmas! ~

Nikki from Malaysian Idol!

Another note: In your email, please do include your NAME & CONTACT NUMBER. :)

HOW TO GET TO SFX (SAINT FRANCIS XAVIER'S CHURCH)

ADDRESS: 135 Jalan Gasing, 46000 Petaling Jaya, Selangor Darul Ehsan, Malaysia

A Christmas To Remember

Carols with Jac, Andrew, Nikki, Juwita, Mark David and ASEANA Percussion Unit

Date: Wednesday, 15th December 2004
Time: 7.30PM
Venue: Maranatha Hall, Glad Tidings (AOG)
(6 Jalan Bersatu 13/4, 46200 Petaling Jaya)

ADMISSION BY INVITATION ONLY

For further information
Kindly contact: Council of Churches of Malaysia
Tel: 03-79567092 / 03-79557587

Of Leather Bags & Hell

Last week, around this time I went with a friend from cell group to Damansara Uptown's Midnight Pasar Malam after pampering ourselves at a nearby Baskin Robins (yum!). We went stall hopping to check out what was being sold and boy was it an eye-opener! From burgers to t-shirts, you name it they might have it (there was even some that were selling allegedly captured footage of ghosts!). I seldom go shopping without an objective in mind, so I had planned earlier to look out for "leather" sling bags.

After a bit of stall hopping, we located one that sells bags only. I was thrilled at the thought of getting a "leather" sling bag that is similar to a friend's (which he bought from Petaling Street); without having to travel the distance (PJ to KL) and saving time + money. The bag was dark brown (almost black) and it is like those "messenger" bag's a classic postman would use. So there I was checking the bag for flaws but none visible (I probably was too infatuated to see it) while the stall owner pitched me:

StallOwner: We have only two of these left. One in black (editor: the one I was holding) and the other in brown. I tell you honestly: it's real leather on the outside and PVC in the inside.
Me: Really ah..? (I was actually quite convinced). How much?
StallOwner: RM48
Me: RM35, I'll buy.
StallOwner: RM38 lah. Best price.
Me: Deal.

I was very happy with my purchase until 5 days later, the strap started to show signs of tearing! I was going, "Oh no..." when I saw that happened. My heart was really aching at the thought of the money I had spent.

:: :: ::

Funnily (not "haha" funny but "weird" funny) enough, this bad experience had led me to contemplate on the topic of Hell.

The stereotype vision of Hell is a place that's filled with brimstone & fire and not to mention naked people who are eternally tortured by demons. But after much reading and contemplation, I have a developed a different vision of Hell...

We are all creatures made for love. We seek love; but more often than not we mistake carnal pleasure (e.g. sex/pornography/money/fame) for love. We may feel contented with these "pseudo-love" (as I would like to put it) and we settle for it. But it satisfies only for a short period and then emptiness comes. When emptiness comes, we seek more of these pseudo-love to fill it. The "dosage" of pseudo-love increases as time passes, until a point where we become so numb that we have to seek for "more extreme" versions of pseudo-love to "cure" the numbness.

Some returned to God after realizing (with the grace of God) how meaningless all these carnal pursuits are, but many stay on with these lifestyles until the end of their lives. When one dies without repentance, essentially he/she have made a choice during his/her lifetime to be separated from God and that decision made will be honoured by God in eternity.

We know that God is love, and that makes Him the source of love. So as creatures made for love we suffer tremendously when we are separated from God and basically that is Hell. I don't discount the possibility of physical suffering but I believe that emotional suffering will be inevitable when one realizes that he/she has missed the opportunity during his/her lifetime to be with his/her Creator, the One that we were made for. It is like missing your one and only opportunity to wine & dine for free with your favourite celebrity and you missed it because you procrastinated to register for the event.

I also likened that emotional suffering of Hell to what I felt when I realized that my decision to buy that bag was a rip-off (after the strap started to tear). I thought to myself: "I should have gotten myself a bag that's made of genuine leather, even if it costs me a couple of hundred extra. At least it will last!" "I shouldn't have believed that stall owner!" Multiply that emotional suffering by a trillion and you get a rough idea of what emotional suffering in Hell might be like.

Fortunately, I was still able to modify my sling bag to a handle-less document bag, so at least the main compartment is salvaged. But unfortunately in the case of Hell, when one chooses it any effort of rectification will be futile.

The Beautiful Letdown

Being Christian, I have experienced the pressure of giving up my faith not once but on many occasions. During these occasions, I have envisioned myself living with no obligations whatsoever. Unrestricted partying. Drugs. Free love. With anyone. At anytime. I was sick of being accountable to God. Although I was already convicted of God's existence. I want to forget God. Ignore His existence. Ignore His will.

- Delude myself. -

And one of these occasions happened not too long ago. At that time I felt... this is it.

Then one day, I decided to listen to Switchfoot's The Beautiful Letdown (introduced by T; a good friend) I figured, Why not? After a couple of listens, I can conclude that The Beautiful Letdown is really a good rock album and if you don't pay attention to the lyrics you will never realise it is Christian music you are listening to. :)

Well, back to the story. I am a sucker for lyrics and as usual I gave my 100% to what was sung and track 2 came up:

"THIS IS YOUR LIFE"
Chorus:
"This is your life, are you who you want to be
This is your life, are you who you want to be this is your life,
Is it everything you dreamed that it would be when the world was younger
and you had everything to lose..."

Praise God. That stirred me to think. And these questions start playing in my head: Who I really want to be? Am I who I aught to be? Is this God's plan for me? That really was it. Though a much more different sort of "it" that I was refering to, compared to the one in the early paragraph... This 'it' is a more positive one. ;)

I realised that I could not ignore God any longer for He plays a major role in my life. And I know in the depths of my heart that the reason & source of my joy could only be Him and in Him. And I also believe that His plans for me is so wonderful. More wonderful than I could ever imagine. So I repented.

Amazing how a song can trigger one's repentance! Yes, I know only the Holy Spirit can lead one to conversion but that is a given. ;)

At The PMCCC

Just something for me to remember...

Last year, I went with a couple of my friends to the Peninsular Malaysia Catholic Charismatic Convention (PMCCC) held in Mines. We arrived just on time for the registration with not much of a crowd at first and then it grew larger...

Friend #1 : This uncle looks familiar.. Oh! He's from our parish! So nice to see him here.
(Pause)
Oh look! He's smoking!
Me : (In a mood for some cynicism) Well, probably he had learnt it here.
Friend #2 : You must not say that! Everyone here is filled with the fire of the Holy Spirit!
Me : Well... then I guess that's where he lit his cigarette.
(Group bursts laughing)

Thinking back that was one funny unintentional joke we made... although some might find it a tad blasphemous.

Sorry God.