The Beautiful Letdown

Being Christian, I have experienced the pressure of giving up my faith not once but on many occasions. During these occasions, I have envisioned myself living with no obligations whatsoever. Unrestricted partying. Drugs. Free love. With anyone. At anytime. I was sick of being accountable to God. Although I was already convicted of God's existence. I want to forget God. Ignore His existence. Ignore His will.

- Delude myself. -

And one of these occasions happened not too long ago. At that time I felt... this is it.

Then one day, I decided to listen to Switchfoot's The Beautiful Letdown (introduced by T; a good friend) I figured, Why not? After a couple of listens, I can conclude that The Beautiful Letdown is really a good rock album and if you don't pay attention to the lyrics you will never realise it is Christian music you are listening to. :)

Well, back to the story. I am a sucker for lyrics and as usual I gave my 100% to what was sung and track 2 came up:

"THIS IS YOUR LIFE"
Chorus:
"This is your life, are you who you want to be
This is your life, are you who you want to be this is your life,
Is it everything you dreamed that it would be when the world was younger
and you had everything to lose..."

Praise God. That stirred me to think. And these questions start playing in my head: Who I really want to be? Am I who I aught to be? Is this God's plan for me? That really was it. Though a much more different sort of "it" that I was refering to, compared to the one in the early paragraph... This 'it' is a more positive one. ;)

I realised that I could not ignore God any longer for He plays a major role in my life. And I know in the depths of my heart that the reason & source of my joy could only be Him and in Him. And I also believe that His plans for me is so wonderful. More wonderful than I could ever imagine. So I repented.

Amazing how a song can trigger one's repentance! Yes, I know only the Holy Spirit can lead one to conversion but that is a given. ;)